Possessed by Poppers

Making Contact with Spirits?

Credit: Pedestrian TV Australia

Have you ever felt as if you were possessed by an external spiritual entity outside of yourself? Or perhaps made contact with a supernatural entity? I’ve been thinking about this a lot in the past few weeks because I’ve been seeing someone pretty consistently since September and he’s very into using poppers. Before meeting him, I wasn’t really into poppers, but seeing how much he enjoys them, made me curious to use them. I’ve really come to enjoy them very much. If I had to assign a Yelp rating to our love-making sessions I would give us 4.5 or 5 stars each time, primarily because I think poppers truly elevate the experience.  

I felt motivated to learn more about poppers since we were using them frequently. I came across an article in Popular Science that said that poppers could cause permanent retinal damage in some users. This partly motivated me to search for a healthier alternative. I described what I felt to a friend at the gym -- that I felt as though I was possessed by some evil, mysterious spirit -- almost Satanic. It felt really good -- and bad, as if I was indulging in something forbidden yet sacred. My gym friend suggested trying to meditate on that feeling and to summon that spirit (without using the poppers), but then I said, “I can’t summon Satan! I was raised Catholic!” LOL… I laughed at the idea of trying to summon on Satan, while trying to meditate, while being with my friend, then trying to explain to him what I was doing -- it seemed easier to simply continue using the poppers to achieve the same feeling.

I was still left with the question -- am I being possessed by a spirit, perhaps a demonic entity, when using poppers? I didn’t find anything in legitimate scientific literature because demonic possession is mostly dismissed as something that is predominantly believed in less developed societies. I asked my friend how he felt, and he said he just felt more sexually aroused, more relaxed, as if he’s floating in another world. For me, I also feel more sexually aroused, however I feel like there’s something external that takes over my body. This made me then contemplate my experience with drinking ayahuasca in Peru, where I felt like I was taken on a journey, guided by benevolent spirits. I’m sure there’s probably a scientific explanation for what I’m feeling. I think I will simply try to befriend this nice spirit taking over me when I inhale poppers. Similar to when I drank ayahuasca in my ayahuasca retreat, we were instructed to “surrender” to the plant spirit, so I will surrender to the poppers spirit…

Please feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments below or email me at juan@juansjournal.com. Thanks for reading! :)